Meanwhile, Elijah was sitting in a corner and started telling them, Hey, your god is real, right? What is quite amusing is the exchange between God and Ezekiel. Funny Bible Verses Genesis 25:30 "He said to Jacob, "Let me gulp down some of that red stuff; I'm starving." Ecclesiastes 10:19 "A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything." 2 Kings 2:23-24 "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. .hide-if-no-js { Proverbs 11:22 NIV: Like a gold ring in a pigs snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. Now, I don't mean laugh at each other in a hateful way such as to disparage the other person or belittle them. The verse comes at a point in the Bible when the author of Genesis is describing how evil the Earth is and why God wanted to bring about a big flood. Go up, you baldhead! So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord. and throwing it at the feet of Moses, calling him a bloody bridegroom. Receive uplifting scriptures, inspiring articles & helpful guides to encourage your faith. 2 Kings 2:23 NIV: From there Elisha went up to Bethel. And what about this funny Bible verse that seems to indicate that Paul was so boring that his readings put a man to sleep! Some come from Bible verses, some from hymns, and some are simply created by clever individuals.We have gathered Christian sayings from many sources and added some of our own original favorites to provide you a comprehensive list of over 100 short, cute, funny, and inspirational . >> also read: 100+ activities for bored teenagers. They open it up, grab their Bibles, and laugh. If a mans testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of theLord. Immediately after the tent peg story, the book of Judges gives us another graphic death. For more Christian articles and topics, please check out my Bible Page. It must have looked comical. We are open for business! #1 of 10 Funny Bible Verses ~ Rise and Shine! Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish!. It's a landmark and a triumph. He cut the lower part of their robes off so that their buttocks were exposed, and then sent them away. What Is The Meaning Of Angel Number 1111. What was Moses' wife, Zipphora, known as when she'd. But before long, a worm chewed the plant, and the plant withered. Jews are very particular about their bloodlines so verses like this, though they may sound a bit funny, are important to their culture. In those 4 short verses millions of species are created for man to rule over. And technically while not faith per se, our daily lives include our faith and our daily walk. Jesus addressed the problem with people who always point out the mistakes of others but seem to be blind of their own through hyperbole. Please reload CAPTCHA. The Bible contains 66 books of religious Christian instructions on how to live our lives piously and faithfully according to the plan and will of God. In this article, we will tickle your funny bone with these funny Bible verses and Scriptures. We recently asked the HuffPost community to share the funniest thing their kid said that week, and we got some great responses. Maybe hes just asleep!. A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. Lot is the nephew of Abraham and kind of a screwup, Biblically speaking. Some animals are too beautiful for words but many are just plain ridiculous. Mon-Fri 10 am to 6 pm. God is not the old man who sits on a throne and frowns at everyone. So they shouted louder and louder and cut themselves with knives and lances, as was their custom, until the blood gushed over them. Even the handle sank in after the blade, and his bowels discharged. Privacy Policy. These youth making fun of Elishas physical appearance might seem like one of the funny Bible verses to us, but if we are hurting other peoples feelings, or making them feel less of themselves, God would not find this funny. 2. It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Jonah was mad that God would forgive these sinners, but then God taught him a lesson by making a leafy grow to give Jonah shade. 1 Corinthians 3:16 2. Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled? Cain struck out Abel. God brought down a fire so powerful that even the soil was burned. During the time of this story, the judge is Deborah, who, under orders from God, starts a war with the Caananites. We must glorify God in whatever we do and say. God's Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss." God's Spirit hovering like a bird; a soupy nothingness; an inky blackness. So much fun! Hi, welcome to my little piece of cyberspace! Also, if there is a verse you find funny, thats not listeddrop it below in the comments. Oct 2, 2016 - Explore steve hamilton's board "Christian engraving ideas" on Pinterest. I cannot imagine a relationship without humor. 29 You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters." (Leviticus 26:27-30) and lusted after their lovers, whose sexual memberswere like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions. Before I go any further, I want to make sure that you understand that I take the Bible as a serious matter! Joke has 75.94 % from 90 votes. The absurdity of their sinful choices and behavior can be rather funny and Jesus often used irony and sarcasm to reveal their folly. funniest verses in the message bible. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. His eyes grew tired and he fell asleep. She will live to serve you at all times. Proverbs 21:9 NIV: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Absolam got his hair caught in a tree. Apparently, God tries to kill Moses, but Zipporah stops him by circumcising her son with a sharp rock (ouch!) "When men fight with one another and the wife of the one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him and puts out her hand and seizes him by the private parts, then you shall cut off her hand. Matthew 5:11-12 Trying to keep her in check is like stopping a windstorm or grabbing oil with your right hand. Adam said, "Go on.". Time limit is exhausted. Its amazing what humorous verses we can find when we dig into the Bible. God did so many amazing things through Elijah. Proverbs 11:22 NIV: Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. I thought it would be a fun add since we are talking about funny Bible verses and hes making them funny. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. It seems that as usual, prophets were not all that appreciated. }, GOSPELCHOPS.COM is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife. We should be cheerful and happy because we are thankful to be blessed by the God of the universe. The lookout reported, He has reached them, but he isnt coming back either. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me, Daddy, I'm under five.". I love the verse in Nehemiah 6, where his enemies are accusing him of plotting against the king and he says, Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head. I just picture him standing on the wall, giving them a snappy finger wag! Apparently, you dont need a gas pedal to drive like a madman. Read HPB Listen to HPB. Required fields are marked *. Of course, Baal did not come through for the priests but when Elijah stepped up to his altar he asked for it to be drenched in water 3 times. And there went forth a wind from the Lord, and brought quails from the sea, and let them fall by the camp, as it were a day's journey on this side, and as it were a day's journey on the other side, round about the camp, and as it were two cubits high upon the face of the earth. The NASB should get a reward for this one swallow of that red stuff. Sounds like something from Worst Cooks In America. Today, we will. Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep which have come up from the washing, every one of which bears twins, and none is barren among them.. A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike. " Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.. 1. Genesis 22:21 NIV: Uzthe firstborn, Buzhis brother, Kemuel (the father of Aram). Genesis 21:6 And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me. Welcome to the New NSCAA. However, he finally did go but said he could only speak what God told him. Unless otherwise indicated, all content is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License. by Ryan Hart | Updated on November 23, 2018 | Post may contain affiliate links. Jonah ran away, but God made him turn around. There are bound to be a lot of differences between humans and God. I can picture Eutychus sitting there listening to Paul drone on about the faith. The huge generation gap and the language barrier contribute to the fact that we hardly see any humor in the Bible. Elisha continued on his way to Bethel. And is the founder of Think About Such Things. The leader of the Caananite army is a man named Sisera, and during the battle, he runs away. Who knew the Bible could be so funny? He that sits in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. Hawaii Creole English. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.. But, seriously, some of these sarcastic Bible verses will almost make you choke on your morning coffee! Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Be glad in the Lord and rejoice ye righteous:shout for joy all ye that are upright in heart. Easter Quotes for Church Bulletins . Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased. The Bible even says by the end they were limping around with gushing blood. Paul was preaching to them, and since he was leaving the next day, he kept talking until midnight. They poured too much water that it created puddles on the ground around it. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys., And there was a young man named Eutychus sitting on the window sill, sinking into a deep sleep; and as Paul kept on talking, he was overcome by sleep and fell down from the third floor and was picked up dead., Would that those who are upsetting you might also castrate themselves!, These people are not drunk, as you suppose, for it is only nine oclock in the morning., Refresh me with apples, sustain me with raisin cakes, For I am lovesick., Worst of all wounds is that of the heart, worst of all evils is that of a woman., No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may be admitted into the community of the LORD., Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes, Which have come up from their washing, All of which bear twins, And not one among them has lost her young., Like a gold ring in a pigs snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion., Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife., Very well, he replied, I allow you cows dung in place of human excrement; bake your bread on that., Now it came about after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor:Uzhis firstborn andBuzhis brother., Then the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah up onto the dry land.. And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she also hath borne children unto thy brother Nahor:21Uz his first-born, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram, Prepare and eat this food as you would barley cakes. It reads: "So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. He socialized. Without humor, life would be unbearable. Get out of here, baldy! they said. Story. When these youth made fun of Elisha, Gods prophet, they were making fun of Yahweh. Some of it is meant to be funny, while other verses are meant to be serious but also make us laugh. This seems a little excessive, but I can think of a bald man or two to whom this would seem perfectly reasonable. - John 6:35 8 9 Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world. After realizing what they had done and searching for him for three days, they find him at a temple, asking questions of teachers.
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